Top 4 Sad Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going To Get Any Better
Is your relationship past its expiration date?
Like a carton of milk, there may come a time when your relationship starts going sour. Fighting, crying, suspicious behavior … none of these are great signs for relationship longevity. But how do you know if it’s just a rough patch or time to cut your loses? What behaviors indicate it’s time to call it quits?
Here are four signs that indicate a relationship just isn’t working anymore:
1. You have your fights set on repeat.
Having the same fight over and over is a worse indicator of relationship health than we usually recognize. It’s not innocuous bickering — it’s doing real damage to your hearts.
Fighting in general is not a bad thing, as long as, over time, you adapt to talking about the deeper issue without re-triggering the fight. If the same topic triggers the same fight every time you attempt talking about it calmly, it means you two haven’t learned to comfortably discuss about problems.
Speaking about problems is an essential relationship skill. Without it, recurring fights build up tension and hurt feelings that cause real damage. Like a scab being ripped off over and over, eventually you’ll be left with a scar. And your relationship shouldn’t be giving you scars, should it?
2. You no longer see your partner as an equal.
This sign comes in two variations: either you view yourself as “above” your partner or as “beneath” your partner. Both versions are a sign it’s time to get out.
Believing you’re “better than” your partner leads to feelings of contempt. Google defines contempt as “the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.” That doesn’t sound like the kind of person you want to be toward someone you’re in a relationship with.
Believing you’re beneath your partner could be chalked up to having low self-esteem, or it could mean you have a lot of admiration for your partner. But it’s still a bad sign for relationship health because believing you are fundamentally worse than your partner, leads you to give away a large share of your power in the relationship. And when you have little power or control, you’ve lost yourself in the relationship.
